Remember when your parents used to say, "this hurts me more than it hurts you"? And you are sitting there thinking, I'm the one who just got handed the tookus beating, how in the world could that hurt you more than it hurt me? You never truly understand that statement until you begin disciplining your own children. Certainly you understand the concept as you grow older, but to truly understand it is to live it and trudge forward with the consequence you are doling out as your child sobs, and everything in you is urging you to just give in and comfort that child.
We were all eating dinner one evening and Lily started in with her attitude that she did not care for this dinner and she was going to let it be known. Coupled with her tendency to already eat slow and never stop talking at the dinner table, our patience had worn thin with her and she was encouraged to stop talking and simply eat her dinner. The other three children were eating and behaving well, relatively speaking, so a Popsicle was offered to them as a reward for their good behavior. That may not seem like much, and it really isn't, but we don't keep very many treats or candy around the house so when a delicious treat like a Popsicle is offered the children tend to get excited. Lily was excited about the Popsicle, but took for granted that she would get one no matter what because in her mind that is only fair. She continued to be stubborn with her dinner, so holding back the Popsicle seemed like the best consequence to encourage her. As any good parent knows, once you throw that threat out there, you have to follow through or your kids will walk all over you. The stubbornness continued, the consequence was handed down, and the tears starting flowing.
I'm a sucker for the tears and Lily knows how to look at me just the right way to tug on my heart strings, but she had to sit there and watch her siblings eat there Popsicle and that is where the true punishment began. Oh the joy that Abby and Chloe took in savoring that Popsicle on Lily's behalf. They waved them around, made up songs about the Popsicle, and Chloe made sure to mention what color everybody had. "Lawson ate his dinner and has a red Popsicle, Abby ate her dinner and has an orange Popsicle, I ate my dinner and have a purple Popsicle......Lily, you didn't get a Popsicle." At this point, I took some compassion and at least let Lily be excused from the table so not to endure the obscene gloating.
Punishing our children can be very hard at times given the different circumstances we find ourselves in. Whether it be in public with witnesses all judging your tactics, or at home in private where it easy to let them get away with it this time because you are so tired of having to correct them over and over and over. We are certainly not perfect, but we try to be consistent and stay true to teaching our kids manners and respect. We struggle at times due to the fact that we are out numbered and have to run a zone defense instead of man to man, and the inmates try to take over the asylum. In the end we know that however hard it is, our kids will be better for it. When you take time to punish your children, you are letting them know you care about them and their actions.
(And I'm not talking about beating your kids......I shouldn't have to say that, but this is going out in open format online, and you never know when some new age passive PETA loving freak will take this the wrong way.)
Jeff, Kasey, Lily, Abby, Chloe and Lawson Boy
