It has never been my intention to use this forum as my personal soap box, but every once in a while some things need be said because the way some people raise their kids in an apathetic manner really grinds my gears at times. This whole idea of fairness and trying to equalize the playing field for our children is just another symptom of the demise of our society and acceptance of mediocrity. Despite the degradation of the morals and work ethic over time there is still hope for our kids future. The evidence is clear and bubbles up in our kids will to succeed, to be better than the kid next to them in class or on the field, and the desire to the right thing. It's our duty as parents to encourage that.
Let me digress for a second and share a quick store about Lawson Boy. Parenting is not easy and we have to make difficult decisions every day that we know our kids are not going to like and will only lead to griping, whining and possible temper tantrums. Many times we have to let our kids learn the hard way. We were coming out of church one day and as we exit the doors Lawson's modus operandi is to take off running. This day it just so happened a friend of ours was next to him and challenged him to a race as they exited the doorway. Standing out in front watching the race it was apparent that Lawson was about to take a header off the curb. As he was running, he was more intent on watching his opponent to size up his competition. My warning to watch out for the curb fell on deaf ears, so I let it happen. Sure enough, the boy ended up with some scrapes on his knees and a bruised ego. Now every time we exit church, Lawson runs over to the curb and stands there with his arms out to make sure nobody else falls off the curb. While I would never purposefully put my kid in harms way, sometimes you let minor things happen so they can learn a lesson. Daddy gave him fist pumps for the cool scrapes on his knees, but he was more interested in mommy's comforting after that little fall. The kids have begun echoing my motto for them, "if you ain't got bumps, bruises and scrapes, you ain't playing hard enough."
Back to my evidence of hope for our future. Lily just finished first grade and over the past year in addition to obviously attending school she played soccer, basketball, performed on the cheer leading squad, and is taking gymnastics. A year and a half ago when we started signing her up for all these activities, my thought was that is way too many activities. A year and a half ago, she also expressed to us she wasn't sure if she wanted to continue playing soccer. After some prying we learned that she did not feel as if she were as good as some of the other girls. Our message to her was and has always been the same since she started playing. I don't care how many goals you score or if you are best player on the field, you work harder than everybody else and hustle and the skills will come. Somewhere along the way this year it sank in with her. Instead of not wanting to play, she asked me to work with her to make her better. Nobody out hustled her on the soccer field, and nobody got by her in basketball without a fight for the ball. Some of her friends are doing back hand springs and she wants to learn so she can perform them as a cheer leader. I went to watch her practice at gymnastics and even when her coach was working with another girl, Lily kept practicing her drills over and over and over with determination to get better each time. Coming off the field after a game and receiving praise for a game well played, she looked at me and said, "but we lost". There is not a scoreboard at their field and nobody tells them what the score is. They know what the score is.
So what is my point other than to brag on Lily? The point is they know the score and they want to win and that will not be discouraged in my kid. Here is what can safely be said about the individual who decided to not keep score and badgers the coach about equal playing time. Their kid probably sucks. Life ain't fair, but every kid has their own talents. Find out what those talents are and encourage them instead of trying to teach my kid mediocrity. We have to stop catering to our kids and giving them everything they want. There is nothing wrong with wanting to provide the best for our children. The best is not simply handing things over to them. The best means they earn it and we spend the time to teach our kid the right values and work ethic so they can best be prepared to go out and provide an even better life for their children.
Whether it is learned or she was born with it, Lily has figured out at an early age how to succeed. She is willing to put in the effort and work hard to do it and that gives me hope.
Jeff, Kasey, Lily, Abby Chloe, and Lawson Boy
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